I like this quote from Buddha on anger which is so profoundly true and appropriate to reflect upon our actions particularly anger in this case and you could replace an anger with hatred to get the same meaning.
We all know our emotion such as an anger or hatred are not the quality one would wish to display, yet in the heat of the moment we forget and often resort to either physical or verbal abuse. We don’t like when our loved ones and friends get angry with us or hate us and likewise, the same emotional pain as we go through is experienced by others. No sentient beings on this earth love to be hated, shouted at or abuse of whatever nature, thrown at them indiscriminately yet we are all capable of dishing out so much emotional and physical pain in so many different ways.
We have the infinite capacity to demonstrate wisdom and compassion to all beings particularly to ourselves yet more often than not we lack such wisdom and judgement. This is all because of our sheer ignorant and deluded mind which according to Buddhist teachings is fueled with the five poisons of attachment, anger, delusion, pride and jealousy. This is so true, if only we can somehow learn to discard these poisons from our mind, we would be able to cultivate loving-kindness, compassion, joy and so forth which are the innate good qualities of all human beings. In cultivating such good qualities to become a better person than you already are will open the window to your heart to see others need before your own. Buddhist believe by helping others one help themselves to accumulate good merit for now and for future lives.
One of the ways to discard these poisons is by being mindful of our actions and by our own endeavour to reflect and change whenever these negative feelings arise in us. We can train our mind by practicing some reflective and contemplative meditation where we allow our heart to open up to accept all the wrongs and learn to reconcile with our negative thoughts and unintended actions. If we allow this to happen and that we are committed and disciplined, we are capable of achieving whatever goal we set but this has to come from within.
As saying goes “patience is a virtue” and you cannot achieve these valuable qualities immediately. You will have to work at it over and over and over until you begin to see some changes in you.